The Lady Who Couldn't Be Kissed / The Old Biological Urge

Written for: The Singing Marine (1937)
Performer of "The Lady Who Couldn't Be Kissed" lyric: Dick Powell, Doris Weston & Lee Dixon
Performer of "The Old Biological Urge" lyric: NONE (not used - censorship)
BOTH lyric versions: Al Dubin
Additional British lyric: Charles Dunn
Music: Harry Warren
Year: 1935, 1937
Original publisher: Remick Music Corp.

Published sheet music version:

Verse 1:

I've had my share of lovely amours,
I suppose you've had your share of yours;
Though this is only my own point of view,
I make this observation and I pass it to you;

Chorus:

Of all the beautiful ladies I've met with,
There's only one that will ever be missed,
She's the gal that I never could pet with,
She's the lady who couldn't be kissed.
I never thought that I'd ever be strong for
A gal who made up her mind to resist,
But, it's funny, the one that I long for,
Is the lady who couldn't be kissed.
When she first said, "No,"
Well, there was a doubt,
But I soon found out,
When the gal said, "No!"
She knew what she was talkin' about.
I may as well let her memory slumber,
And so I'm crossing her name off my list,
But I'm saving the telephone number
Of the lady who couldn't be kissed.

Verse 2 (from British sheet music):

There's not so much I've ever passed by,
There's not so much that misses my eye;
Can you imagine the blow to my pride
When I said, "How do, lady?" she just swept me aside!

[Chorus]

Early lyric banned by censorship offices:

"The Old Biological Urge"

Chorus:

When you begin having dreams in the daytime,
You aren't crazy, but you're on the verge;
That's a fever that's common in May-time,
It's the old biological urge.
And when your trouble begins to get chronic
And your emotions are ready to splurge;
What you need is a kiss for a tonic,
It's the old biological urge.
It's a state of mind
That you can't suppress;
So, go out and find
Someone to caress,
I may be wrong, but never-the-less.
When you begin to write sonnets and couplets,
It means you're ready to mate and to merge;
That's what gave us the Dionne quintuplets,
It's the old biological urge.

Movie version:

Verse:

(Dick Powell:) I've had my share of lovely amours,
I suppose you've had your share of yours,
Though it is only a point of view,
I make this observation and I pass it to you;

Chorus 1:

(Powell:) Of all the beautiful ladies I've met with,
There's only one that will ever be missed,
She's the gal that I never could pet with,
She's the lady who couldn't be kissed.
I never thought that I'd ever be strong for
A gal who made up her mind to resist,
But, it's funny, the one that I long for,
Is the lady who couldn't be kissed.
When she first said, "No,"
Well, there was a doubt,
But I soon found out,
When the gal said, "No!"
She knew what she was talkin' about.
I may as well let her memory slumber,
So I'm crossing her name off my list,
But I'm saving the telephone number
Of the lady who couldn't be kissed.

Chorus 2:

(Powell:) Whenever I meet a kissable lady,
And I can tell them the moment I know.
Then the name and the telephone number,
Goes down in my little red book...

<Instrumental interlude>

That's the lady who couldn't be kissed.

Chorus 3:

(Doris Weston:) Of all the ladies he's courted and cooed with,
There's only one who could make him desist;
She's the lady he couldn't be rude with,
She's the lady who couldn't be kissed.
He thought it easy to make her say, "Yes, sir,"
That all he had to do was insist;
But he never could even impress her,
'Cause the lady refused to be kissed.
When she first said, "No!"
Well, there was a doubt;
But he soon found out
When the gal said, "No!"
He knew what she was talking a...(slap)
You may as well let your memory slumber,
And cross her name and address of your list;
(Powell:) But I'm saving the telephone number
Of the lady who...
(Weston:) Wouldn't...
(Powell:) The lady who...
(Weston:) Couldn't...
(Powell:) The lady...
(Weston:) Ain't gonna...
(Powell:) The lady...
(Weston:) Don't wanna...
(Powell:) The lady who couldn't be kissed.

Tag:

(Lee Dixon:) Here's Mabel and Sadie,
Here's Doris and Katie,
Here's Mary and, boy, what a list!
But he's torn out the telephone number
Of the lady who couldn't be kissed.