The Boy In The Celluloid Collar

Written for: Take Me Out To The Ball Game (1947)
Performer: NONE (not used in 1949 release)
Lyric: Ralph Blane
Music: Harry Warren
Year: 1947
Original publisher: Harry Warren Music, Inc.

Verse:

(Gene Kelly & Judy Garland:) They were up in Central Park
Feeling happy as a lark;
They were just another couple strolling by.
But they never noticed us,
They were feeling amorous;
So it's up to us to tell the reason why, why, why!

Chorus 1:

(Kelly:) They'd promenade through the flowers,
(Garland:) They'd have a kiss, then a chat;
(Kelly:) He in his celluloid collar,
(Garland:) She with a bird on her hat.
(Kelly:) They'd find the shadiest bowers,
(Garland:) They'd talk of this and of that;
(Kelly:) He in his celluloid collar,
(Garland:) She with a bird on her hat.
(Kelly:) Ev'ry cop along the beat,
Though he guarded their retreat,
Always took a peek and knew their secret
Soon would be complete.
(Garland:) And the cop would stop and stare,
But they didn't seem to care;
You could tell that they were well aware
Of no one but each other.
What a grand home they planned there for hours;
(Kelly:) Down to the dog and the cat;
(Kelly & Garland:) He in his celluloid collar,
She with a bird on her hat.

Chorus 2:

<Gene and Judy riding along in back of wagon, unmindful of a shower – love being blind>

(Kelly:) Whoever said it was raining?
They must be blind as a bat;

<Business of distress with collar>

I've got a celluloid collar,
You've got a bird on your hat.
(Garland:) You haven't heard me complaining,
I never minded the flat;
You've got a celluloid collar,
I've got a bird on my hat.

<Shot of Judy's hat – the bird sad and wet – with water full in brim>

(Kelly:) If your hat should correspond
To a duck upon a pond,
It's a bird afloat
Upon a moat of which I'm very fond;
(Garland:) Don't you think it's time you learned
That I'm not a bit concerned;
So, if I don't care and you don't care,
Let other fellas have umbrellas.
We'll plan a honeymoon cottage,
"Love" written there on the mat;
I love your celluloid collar,
(Kelly:) And I love that bird on your hat.
(Garland, spoken:) Hey, it's raining, just like it's done before!
(Kelly, sung:) Let it rain and let it pour,
It's you that I adore.
(Garland, spoken:) Yes, but what about my hat?
(Kelly, spoken:) It's too late to think of that!
(Garland, sung:) Helter skelter, run for shelter,
While the other fellas have umbrellas;
We plan on having a nurs'ry!
(Kelly, spoken:) Get rid of the dog?
(Garland, spoken:) And the cat!
(Kelly, sung:) If it's a boy, he'll have a celluloid collar,
(Garland, sung:) And ev'ry newsboy on the corner's gonna holler;
(Kelly:) If it's a girl, you can bet your bottom dollar,
(Kelly & Garland:) She'll be wearing a bird on her hat!